See Me

Every day I move in silence. I am alone. I see many people living their lives as I walk home. Eating in groups, shopping with friends, holding hands, dad's holding sons, mom's talking with daughters: people connecting all around me. I don't understand this world, but I envy the idea of it. I eat alone in the morning, walk to the bus I take to work, work in a meaningless job that requires little interaction, take the return bus to the last stop, and walk to my small apartment, to eat alone again. My apartment building has other tenants, but the turnover is great, and it seems a tiring and useless act to try to relate to the casual. Most of them that I’ve seen look as fatigued with their own repetitive lives as I feel.

I was abandoned early in life, leaving me without conventional social skills; without proper cheerleaders? supporters? encouragers? that live in that imaginary world I envy. I am left without the necessary drive to seek more. I exist to survive; I survive to exist. I am a stray in a busy society. I blend into the background and go unnoticed.

Every day I move in silence...among you.