As I throw his things onto the fire

Heart screaming, tears streaming,

My mind goes blank.

These are his things, but I cannot face them,

This emptiness, barely hanging on,

Well, I have him to thank.

Driving home, what was that?

To late…to tired…

Ahhh but you drank!

So cleansing by fire seems right and just.

You left too early…my love…

And I blame you.

New birth, crude…lovely

Sheltered from life’s destruction.

Time is on your side.

Confident in youth,

He must feel invincible.

Time runs behind you.

Full circle-full heart.

Don’t flinch, don’t get stagnant, dull.

Time is catching up.

Older, you reflect,

Life’s pungent flavor, fickle.

Time is closer yet.

Deep lines on your face

Alone in thoughts, motionless.

Ahhh, time gains…quiet.

She’ll stand tall as a shield, just because it’s you,

She’ll cheer and believe in all that you do.

She’ll quietly watch to see that you’re safe,

She’ll encourage your dreams and hopes by her faith.

When all around you may not see it,

She’ll make you believe that you can achieve it.

She’ll wake early, work late, to help you as needed,

She’ll truly be happy when you have succeeded.

She is loving and fierce, accepting, and brave,

She’ll model her actions in the best possible way.

She’ll speak if you’re wrong, be proud if you’re right,

When she makes a mistake, she’ll apologize on sight.

She’ll change your course with just one look,

But her absolute love will leave you quite shook.

She’ll knock you out with her genuine smile,

Or talk when you need it or listen a while.

She’ll let you go gently if that is your fate,

But secretly be sad when you separate.

If you leave her and go, but later come back,

She’ll answer the door and help you unpack.

With arms open wide, her hug will await,

She’ll welcome you in no matter how late.

She’ll give you her strength when you feel your worst,

And bring laughter to life on the reverse.

She’ll shield the hurt as much as possible,

And give you enough so the bridge is crossable.

She’ll be there for you whenever you call,

Pick you up for the asking, if ever you fall.

She’ll give everything she has to you,

With no expectation of payment due.

Unconditional praise more than any other,

She’ll give that to you, and for that you will love her.

She’ll laugh with you when times are great,

And cry with you if you’re carrying the weight.

She’ll chase away monsters in your heart,

Fighting by your side until they depart.

She’ll bravely help you fight your fears,

And gently reach out to wipe your tears.

She’ll wish for you always the very best,

And hope her love has been expressed.

ln these matters and so much more,

She’ll lay down her life if that will save yours…

When she has left, you’ll miss her gentle calm.

She could heal and sooth…because she was mom.

Three cousins discussing a book from book club where insightful points are being made prompting great discussion between two of the cousins.

The third cousin interjects, "wait…I don't get anything you two are talking about? But that Luke guy was fire!”

Me to the third cousin: “you’re so pretty.”

Cousin, oblivious, “Thank you” and smiles.

No harm done.

Every day I move in silence. I am alone. I see many people living their lives as I walk home. Eating in groups, shopping with friends, holding hands, dad's holding sons, mom's talking with daughters: people connecting all around me. I don't understand this world, but I envy the idea of it. I eat alone in the morning, walk to the bus I take to work, work in a meaningless job that requires little interaction, take the return bus to the last stop, and walk to my small apartment, to eat alone again. My apartment building has other tenants, but the turnover is great, and it seems a tiring and useless act to try to relate to the casual. Most of them that I’ve seen look as fatigued with their own repetitive lives as I feel.

I was abandoned early in life, leaving me without conventional social skills; without proper cheerleaders? supporters? encouragers? that live in that imaginary world I envy. I am left without the necessary drive to seek more. I exist to survive; I survive to exist. I am a stray in a busy society. I blend into the background and go unnoticed.

Every day I move in silence...among you.