I don’t blame you.

I don't blame you for not being the person I need you to be. In fact, I understand. I can't be that person for you either. So, basically, we're two sides of the same coin. It's unfortunate because I really thought the older we got, the more we would understand each other. But I can't understand your needs because I'm younger than you and not a mother. You can't understand my needs because you're older, you have a family to worry about, and unfortunately a sister cannot replace the innate need for a mother. There are things I haven't told you because I feel like you won't understand. We both have some trauma and even from the same people. But the results of those traumas are slightly different, and that's why we can't properly comfort each other. I don't blame you for forgetting about me, or leaving when I was too young to understand why. You had to get out, and if the roles were reversed, I would have left too. I don't blame you for relying on me so much, since everyone else we know is super unreliable and untrustworthy. I don't blame you, but you can't blame me either. You can't blame me for needing to walk away, or for growing up and putting myself first for once. After all, you did the same thing, right?