My Bucket List
This was my last chance. I have to give the performance of my life. I am nervous and a little bit sweaty. The bright lights have that effect on me. I waited long enough for this opportunity and I refuse to accept defeat.
“You may begin.”
On the last day of English class of my senior year, Mrs. Craig, my English teacher, assigned one more homework assignment; write a Bucket List; and presumptuously, live it. That was thirty-two years ago. Today, I am turning it in for a grade.
Number One: I want to experience the absolute worst the human race has to offer. I want to see the relics of war, the death camps, and the suffering they caused. I want to go where there is starvation and hopelessness. I want the Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse before me in full regalia. Whether it be pestilence or plague, famine or drought, or genocide originated in all its ugly forms, I want to view it all without censor, without escape. I want to meet the people that have no choice but to endure the anguish and torment their lives amass. I want all of this not for any selfish reason. Not to invoke a crusader manifest destiny. Not even to alleviate the symptoms of the collective problems that permit such misery to thrive. None of that is my cause. I want this one experience, this one touch of ultimate despair to remain embedded in my memory. I want this closeness to evil and torment and wretchedness to remain a baseline for my actions for the rest of my life. I know one single individual cannot reverse the well-trodden path of enslavement and dictatorship bestowed upon the masses. But one single individual can tell the story, first hand, of the plight and can serve as a beacon against the wickedness that causes the aforementioned. For if I am to have a heightened sense of awareness of this world, I must know its entire inventory of misfortune. For if I am to speak of solutions, I must identify the exact problem. I will not travel through life ignorant. I have free will, but limited resources. When I act, I will demand results, not unintended consequences, nor a brief respite from local horrors. I will show others that solutions stem from action and not talk.
Number Two: I want to experience the absolute best the human race has to offer. I have never seen a live birth or a sunrise over the ocean or a migration of Monarch butterflies. I read about whale spotting and the Galapagos Islands; now I want to experience both. Do I have time for the Running of the Bulls? A World Series? Or an English Channel swim? How long does it take to learn Catalan? How long does it take to train for a marathon, not in New York or Boston, but in Marathon? Could I finish Henry V during a winter excursion on the Trans-Siberian Railroad? Does morning coffee in Milan smell differently than it does in Bogota? How does one verify that a six-man Hawaiian war canoe team outrows a similar crew team from Eaton? Has anyone ever begun to catalog the answers? It is time someone did. If I could, I would paint the Eiffel Tower or race the Iditarod or walk the tulip fields of Holland. Who requires an apprentice to learn search and rescue in the Antarctic? Does someone receive payment for counting the steps on the Great Wall? Where do you apply to be an Alaskan bush pilot or a rodeo clown? Or a tight rope walker or trauma medic? Someone comforts the dying and does it without recognition. Who is that person? Even if I could not participate, just to witness the best compete at an Olympic 100 meter race would meet my prerequisites. Who are the people who climbed the 2nd and 3rd highest mountains? Will they guide me if I ask? I will never know until I do. And I intend to. Often.
Number Three: I want to cheat Death and live to tell about it. This element of my list does not originate from braggadocios intent. Rather, it is to perpetuate the legend of the campfire story teller. With an audience transfixed and a cauldron of sparks casting shadows, I want the spotlight to spin a yarn of truth.
Not often, so as to dilute the importance of a single component, but when it becomes appropriate in both time and subject, I want the spotlight. I want to hold the spectators to their seats, straining to hear every syllable of the day Death did not fill his quota. I will make it personal. I will learn new adjectives and adverbs to make every detail come alive beyond that a simple book could impart. With the crackling of embers as my orchestra, I will amaze each and every person with the shocking details told by one who has walked the walk. All will have prior knowledge of the event, but up until that special moment, none will realize their proximity to Death’s Cheater. What I do to deny Death his due must be as spectacular as the story I tell. I could survive a fall from height, or escape a burning building, or fight a wild beast in search of his dinner. Nothing is off limits. Yes, you may think Number Three is merely a façade for self-aggrandizement, and yes, you would be correct. So permit to me this one born of conceit. I offer no falsehoods during my story. I shan’t stretch the truth by night requiring a recant in the morning. I only desire to be in the right place, at the right time, view Death begin his vocation, and depart with him unpaid.
Number Four: I want to love one woman in such a way that she could never love another. Ours could be lasting or brief, but here, and only here, I give better than I get and I offer nothing short of smoldering. She may not understand what she has when she has it, for the same applies to me as well. Such is the case with love. Accept it as it is, for no further explanation is forthcoming.
Number Five: I want adventure. I want to walk the path of Marco Polo and sail the seas like Magellan. And I want to do it as they did; a tenth century adventure using only tenth century technology. If Armstrong can reach the Moon by capsule and Lindbergh can fly the Atlantic with a single engine, then so can I. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I will do it alone. But for the bounty Earth provides, I will never be lonely.
Number Six: I want to give. Not give back, for I earned all I have. None of that. I want to give others the opportunity to live as I will. I will teach skills to those who need them. I will offer a hand to those that deserve it. I want to be the impetus for achievement. That last shove to get over the last obstacle. What I offer is the initial course alignment and a template for success along the way. I lead by example and will take any willing participant with me for as far as they need. Not want. Only need. For success is not a destination or a journey, but a series of actions and the subsequent results along the journey. No one can make all the correct decisions every time. But a successful person can recover today and realign for tomorrow. I offer advice and incentive. I demand payment in sweat equity and ingenuity. A man with infinite resources is not a success. A man who earned these resources can be. A man who teaches others how to earn for themselves is.
Number Seven: I will compete with the best, at any level, and hold my own. There is no alternative to your best. I would not accept less from others, and they would not accept less from me.
Number Eight: I will resign myself to fight the Spawns of Satan who sole purpose is to slow me down. Political correctness is for fools. My time is valuable and its exchange for victory is both equitable and sweet.
Number Nine: I will defend my country at all times and defend my government only when it deserves it. For the isms it presents are not worthy of my attention it desperately desires or the distractions it eagerly employs. For government of today is a farce. It offers nothing a free man requires. The cost is dear for a citizen and too easy for a servant of the state. So, when independence is not on their menu, I say, Damn the Torpedos! Give me liberty or give me death! I live on my terms or I die trying. If the deck is stacked against me, if these are the events that do try men’s souls, then I am not a sunshine patriot. With passing
regard for Thomas Paine, I will not bend, I will not break.
Number Ten: I will NEVER settle, NEVER collaborate with mediocrity, and NEVER accept second best in anything I do. For years, I read what others lived and desired my piece of the action. I wanted what would test my mettle, make me think, and demand sacrifice in exchange for opportunity. I wanted to live my life on my own terms to see if I had the skill sets necessary for survival. I know a handout here or a good word there may open a few doors, but it also springs the trap of placid acceptance of the commonplace. To take what is not earned is insidious, it is theft, and it is wrong. If there was ever a time in one’s life to set sail through unchartered waters, it is now. Hemingway never wrote of safety. Robert Frost never punted in his choice of which road. Faced with impending doom, Dylan Thomas raged against the dying of the light. And today, I will pay homage to the masters. Each day of my life I stand trial against the charge of ordinary. So bring on all life has to offer and face the fight I have to offer. Bet if you must. I like my odds.
The lights still shine as bright now as they did before. The difference is I am no longer nervous or sweaty. I await my grade from Mrs. Craig. I smile when she smiles.