The day you were lost

I never wanted to be a mother the thought of giving up my dreams and life to have a child seemed so disappointing, and it's not just that, maybe because I didn’t want to risk losing my child the day they were supposed to arrive that fear grew stronger the more the months passed at last the 9 months had passed and it was the day for you to be in my arms. And yet, the day I met you everything changed. I loved my baby boy for the 9 months I carried them imagining the day I would finally get to see those chubby cheeks and rolls wondering if you would have the same dimples I had. Emilio, the day you were born was the most painful thing in the world and it wasn't easy being in labor isn't ever easy especially when you know the outcome of your child's life but although that pain was unbearable I know that any mother would gladly relieve if it meant meeting there second life for the first time. Not everyone could experience this exact feeling but I did, I created life that always seemed so far away for me. Through the tears I shed, and cloudy eyes I get to finally hold you, I may not have been the first person who laid eyes on you but I will be the first person you love and who will give you the warmth needed to keep those cries away. Although I had that moment with you for an hour before you were gone I would go back in time and do it all again. You will always be my guide and hope to keep going.