My Day Off

Dear Dairy (I protest the use of "Diary"),

Today I crashed a Novena. I don't even know what saint it was for. Some nameless angel looking down on me from above, wondering why I was there. I opened my mouth to taste all the sanctifying grace I could catch--the stuff just poured down. It tastes sweet and sour, like Chinese.

After, I walked and walked, counting my steps, but not watching my step. I fell into a womanhole, which was soft and kind to me. I could have stayed there for hours, but wanted to see sunlight again, so I rose from the dead. But just in my head.

The cops all looked at me suspiciously, and I know why, but they don't. Still, they're professionals and their spidey-senses tingle at the sight of me.

I remain conflicted over mammals in general. Don't even get me started on the birds.

I'm still growin', which is what keeps me goin'. You can hang on if you want, but that's a no-go/no-grow. So be respectful.

Tonight I'm planning on a big reunion with my scruples. It's been a long time since we've gotten together. I'm sure they'll comment on how ruthless I look. ("I wonder where Ruth is?" courtesy of Firesign Theatre.)

Then all is said and done, it's usually done in that order. That's what she said. Can't wait until tomorrow, 'cause I get more every day. More what? Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see!