A Story, a Long Time Coming

I once met a girl and very quickly, I fell for her.

I thought she was beautiful, enigmatic, full of energy and just weird, and I liked that.

But I was just so timid and I'd get so nervous around her, I did eventually tell her I liked her.

Buuuut, I told her in my notebook, literally.

I wrote it down and showed it to her in paragraph form, today it absolutely shocks me she ever saw anything in me, but to my surprise she liked me back.

So she cheated on her boyfriend, and I lost my virginity in the backseat of his Toyota.

Good Ole 20 years old.

I'm 23 now, and me and her have since parted ways.

That was after I packed up all of my bags, and we moved to another state.

Beautiful Tennessee.

Her home.

With her family and all her friends.

With all her exes, too, and boy I sure met a lot of them.

But hey, one of them became a very good friend of mine.

Well, she eventually got back with her Ex from Texas, my neck of the desert, and I'm finding a new apartment.

This tore me the hell up, I started drinking heavily.

Very heavily.

What's a fifth of vodka? We were drinking damn near a gallon every day.

Let me tell ya, it's the worst dang hangover, you wanna know how I cured it?

I drank more.

And I drank more.

It got to the point where I didn't feel normal being sober.

Last year I lost my job at this plant I really liked.

I had worked there nearly a year, my personal record me being 23 and all.

Well, I didn't show up for 2 weeks, and they were very patient with me.

But, well, the course took its toll.

I wont mame any excuses for my actions, I'm lucky they waited 2 weeks.

Life goes on, I slowed down on my drinking, on my smoking.

I found a new job, Katz.

I liked it, and I wanted to be better for myself, for others around me.

I stuck to it, and I'm still here.

I made friends, I met a girl.

A girl who makes me nervous, a girl who makes me giggle.

A girl who makes bubbles in my chest.

They want to hire me, I admitted to my weed use.

It's my crucible, the thing that molds iron and steel.

This will mold me into a beautiful shape, sharpened or dull, shiny or full of slag.

I'm not a blacksmith. I'm a machine operator.

I've never been this anxious in my life.

Come Monday, either I'll be gone and lose all of my chances.

Or I'll remain, and be the happiest boy on planet Earth.

I am easily replaceable, but all I need is a chance.

Just one chance.

And given that chance? I won't let them down.

I swear that to myself. I deserve that for myself.

I've been working so hard for this, and I'm not willing to give it up.