The END for @SPam

Funeral of Your Dreams: https://www.theprose.com/post/772418/my-last-dance

Funeral Package: Baby, You’re A Waterwork

Dear, dear Pam. What beautiful death plans you have! The “Baby, You’re A Waterwork” service will take your vision to new heights (and depths)! Let me walk you through the process.

First and foremost, I must insist on Aquamation. I can clearly see the connection you have to water, so what could be better than “water cremation?” In order to be placed in and of the earth, your ashes need to be “clean” to ensure no harm will come to nature. Aquamation also leaves about 30% more of you behind to ensure there will be enough of you to go around the world!

Your natural, unembalmed body will be placed onto a perforated, stainless steel containment tray inside of an airtight, pressurized chamber where it will go through Alkaline Hydrolysis. A mixture of potassium hydroxide and water heated to over 300 degrees Fahrenheit will be gently circulated through your body for roughly 18 hours to breakdown all organic material. What’s left are your gorgeous, pure white bones which will be crushed into powder (ash).

No trace of organic human material will remain as Aquamation washes away any and all disease, DNA, and RNA. The nutrient rich liquid from your flesh will then be sent to my Enigmatic Blooms charity where you can anonymously fertilize the flowers of the funerals of tomorrow. I use these flowers for low income families struck by tragedy so they can still have flower arrangements at their loved one’s funeral. Furthermore, Alkaline Hydrolysis creates zero smoke and uses a mere fraction of the energy (compared to cremation). You will be giving back to this earth you so wish you meld with in The END!

Now, once we have all that beautiful ash from your clean bones, your loved ones will gather at dusk by the lake for your funeral service. The bonfire, music, and refreshments will be plentiful so your friends and family can celebrate all night long. Then, everyone will walk down to the lake to set off the pre-filled fireworks, full of your extra fine, triple milled ash. And won’t everyone be surprised when they see and explosion of color when the ash bombs go off! That’s right! We will color your ash in a nontoxic dye for this one special moment! With a song of your choice, colorful Pam dust and shimmering Pam sparkles will slowly rain down onto the lake. People will hug and hold hands as they behold the gorgeous sight!

Lastly, we will assist your appointed Ferrymen to deliver the rest of your Aquamains to every location you’ve listed. We’ll encapsulate your remains in a plaque at the library before sending them off to be scattered in the brook behind your home and the Grand Canyon. Lastly, and most iconically, the Celtic Sea…

Dance on the water. Dance until the sea wraps you in her arms and pulls you into her depths. Sink down, down, down until she lures you into her secret resting place. No longer lost, Atlantis welcomes you...

Because you, darling Pam, are a living work of water, returning home.

Thank you for choosing The END!

Love,

E <3

Created from my Welcome to The END Challenge: https://www.theprose.com/challenge/14302