Today

Today’s Fuck the World Day.

Today’s I wish I had a punching bag day.

Today’s if you get in my way I’ll explode, I don’t care who you are or what weapons you’re packing day.

Today’s the thirteenth anniversary of my failed marriage.

A few weeks from today is the fourth anniversary of my dad’s death.

And I have to take care of my four young kids and my elderly mom who has no memory and my work’s picking up and I’m taking over for a retired guy,

And I have an electric turn off notice because I haven’t been able to get gas and electric started at this new house and I’m paying for two houses and four kids and a deadbeat soon to be ex wife and I can’t afford the lawyer anymore and she won’t sign the divorce papers and I don’t know where all this fucking money is gonna come from,

and I’m holding up the world like Atlas, bringing down the temple like Samson.

A few weeks from today is the two year anniversary of the day my wife told me she was gay and wanted a divorce

and she’s still here and I’m still supporting her

like that cockroach, that rat, that scratch you just can’t itch.

Today’s the day I just picked the scab off again.

Today’s the one year anniversary of the last time I tried to kill myself.

Today’s I’m a nuclear missile heading for everything, a powder keg of gun powder and piss and vinegar, a super nova exploding colors into space day.

Today’s I used to love fall and the changing leaves with my favorite orange and yellow colors and hiking and camping in the mountains by a cool crystal lake and the cool air and the smell of fireplaces and pumpkins and apple cider and cinnamon but this shit sucks day.

Today’s I genuinely don’t give a fuck about anything anymore day.

Today’s I’m Doctor Doom, The Master, Thanos, and Darth Vader all rolled into one day.

Today’s seriously, don’t get in my way today day.

Today’s some bitch just stopped in front of me when I was trying to pull out from dropping my kids off at school and she’s just sitting there so I’m staring at her unflinching burning a hole through her head with my laser eyes day.

Today’s I so so so want to explode day.

Todays I’m so crazy my head hurts and my vision’s blurry and maybe I have a tumor I really really hope it’s a tumor because that would explain a lot day.

Today’s how the fuck am I gonna end this poem day.

Today’s is this even a poem at this point I think it’s more of a rant day.

Today’s this day fucking sucks day.

Today’s no really it does day.

Today’s if you smile at me I’ll knock that fucking smile off your face day.

Today’s I want to punch a baby kitten so don’t become that kitten day.

Today’s I really don’t want to become an angry, evil mother fucker but the world is blackening my heart and my soul so fuck you day.

Today’s I really hope they don’t lock me up and throw away the key day.

Today’s piss and vinegar day.

Today’s my god I really don’t know how I’m going to go on like this day.