i’ll just hold it

It's fine. I'll just hold it.

I sit on the floor, my arm starting to feel a bit cramp from the reach around to hold the knife in my back. He said he would be back for it, so I just sit and wait. My hand gets a bit clammy and sticky from the bloody smudge pressing the hot steel tip near my lower spinal cord. I breathe slowly through clenched teeth, holding it right there, just as deep as where he left it. It hurts, but I hold it for him.

He'll be back. So I'll just hold it.