Mess of Me

These halls are all so empty

Though other kids surround me

I see them, all together,

Yet my heart is still sighing.

My friends are sort of friends,

But I don't have the time

To tell them that I care

Or that I'm always there.

Remembering my God

Brings me shame and not grace

I know this is a lie

But I can't fight this fight

Am I called to walk

This pain alone?

Oh, should I give up hope,

Where can I go?

I'm all alone

Drowning in my past and

Wondering if friends still last

My heart is cold

But no one cares at all

So who's here to rescue

The mess of me?

Thanks for being kind to me,

Sharing shards of empty empathy,

But stopping when things get too deep,

And my thoughts start turning messy.

Life's a joke, so you can't help

When things get real, you walk out

Maybe I expect way too much

But way too much won't be enough

Am I called to walk

This pain alone

Oh, should I give up hope,

Where can I go?

I'm all alone

Drowning in my past and

Wondering if friends still last

My heart is cold

But no one cares at all

So who's here to rescue

The mess of me?

Oh Lord, give me strength

To lean on you, to search for you

My Lord, give me strength

Live isn't worth living without you

I know you'll never leave me

Your spirit dwells within me

God help me wait upon you

Help me to know

Oh, I'm not alone

You were here before and

Your love will always last

My heart is yours

Lord Jesus, take it all

I know that your love

Still fights for me!

(These are song lyrics about my life at school. I felt different from everyone else there, and I constantly fell into despair when I saw everyone else being so close and friendly with one another. At the time it was just a reminder of what I didn't have.

The only thing I've had to hold on to was my faith, that Jesus still loved me even when everyone else seemed to ignore me. He is the reason I can still be joyful in times of struggle and loneliness, for I know that he will carry me through my every struggle.

Comment below if you can relate to this poem or if you have any comments or questions you would want to share! And any advice or ideas you can give me would be appreciated; I don't usually share my work. Peace!)