A Good Turn

I've been driving this beater for 15 years now. I got it back in high school and never really had the heart to upgrade.

I work in a shady part of the city and most of my clients are in the very least, part time criminals. My car used to be keyed over every week. It's been a long time since then, however. They all know me now, their kids know me and we keep each others secrets.

So when I rear ended the slow Subaru at the gas station by mistake (well not really, but a little push never hurt anyone), I expected the guy to take one look at me and wave it off.

Instead, an elderly man stepped out, with beady eyes and a walking stick.

"Hey," I called out as I got out of my car too. "Man, it's hardly a scratch."

"You damaged my car on purpose. You will pay for a bumper replacement." he said in a croaky old voice.

I laughed. "Look, I didn't do it on purpose. Besides, you drive a Subaru. If anything, it's my bumper that is dented worse."

"No."

As much as 'no' was a complete sentence, I didn't want to give this old man money. It was probably a scam anyway. Maybe he was new here.

"Okay. Whatever floats your boat. See ya." I said turning around and walking back to my own car.

The old man started following me and I stopped to turn and raise my eyebrows at him.

"What?" I asked. I felt my hackles rise as the man reached inside his coat. I wasn't scared of confrontation, having lived on this side of the streets for years, but I wanted to avoid a fight.

Fortunately, what the man pulled out wasn't a weapon, it was insurance papers.

"Can you contact this company and ask your insurance company to help pay for repairs?" he asked. It was honestly quite sweet, and the man seemed honest enough.

"Sure." I lied easily. "Of course. Let me note it down."

I took one look at the page he handed me and burst out laughing.

"Mr. God Almighty?" I wheezed. "Place of residence The Heavens! Old man this is quite the prank. Thanks for the laugh."

He looked upset for some reason and snatched back his papers.

"It's true." he said, a sulk setting in on his face. "I am God. And you hit my car on purpose."

I let out a low whistle. This was almost certainly someone's grandpa with deteriorating cognitive skills. I had to deal with this kindly and well.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I hit it on purpose. Only because you were so slow. I'll have my insurance contact yours." I said placatingly. "Now, do you have a home address I can send it off at?"

The man frowned. "No."

"No home address?" I asked.

"No." he said.

"You don't want me to send it off?"

"No." he repeated.

"...okay. So what's the problem?" I asked, perplexed.

"You didn't mean your apology."

Wait what?

"You need to mean it when you say sorry. Otherwise it doesn't count." he said sagely.

Great. Not only was this man loony, he was going to moral police me. I was genuinely sorry I came to this gas station anyway.

Maybe doing a good turn would help me in the long run, though. Come to think of it, my karma points have been dismal lately. The old man probably needed the bumper money for something essential like food or medicines.

"Fine. I am sorry. I mean it. I should have had more patience and not rear ended you. I have noted your car number and will ask my friend who is an agent to help you get your insurance cover. Please just go away now." I said not completely dishonest. I really did have a resourceful friend at the only insurance company in town. He would make sure the guy got a decent settlement.

His face lit up a little and something tugged at my chest. It may have been the undercooked ravioli my wife made for lunch today, but she worked so hard at it, I had to eat all of it.

"Here." I said, handing him a few fifty dollar bills. "This will cover some of the cost."

I turned back hastily before he could follow and got into my car, mouthing with a sigh "thank God". I hit the accelerator and got the hell out of the gas station without the gas I came for, but still out of money.

Against my better judgement, I looked at my rear view mirror and saw him waving enthusiastically.

"You're welcome!" called the old man, his croaky voice very loud.

I somehow made it to the next gas station without my car shutting down and bought a raffle ticket with the extra change. And what do you know, there really is a God. I won a thousand dollars!

A/N:

Did this story make you laugh? Let me know your thoughts! Thank you for reading.