?

I envied you for believing in love

How you fell so effortlessly

How you opened up so easily

Even after everything that's happened to us

To you

I often wondered was it out of desperation

Clinging on to something that we never had

We were emotionally starved for love

We craved the comfort it brought

Even in my own experiences it overwhelmed me

Scared me enough that i ran

I turned away from it

As if it was a flashing neon sign

DANGER!!!

Blinding me to what was unknown

I wanted to believe that love was real

That happy endings did exist

But my eyes don't lie from the sights that i saw

The abuse “LOVE” gave in return

Over and over

Like a pungent rotting scent that seeped in my lungs

It overpowered

Consumed

Engulfed

I wondered why you always went back

Did love hold you as tight as you wanted

Was it the security that you needed

Did love outweigh the lies

Were the cuts and bruises worth the wait

Was love worth all the hype

Would I let love control me the way it has you

Destroy the little happiness i made for myself

Do you still hope that love is real

Do you still love?