Projection

I wrote this in response to an Emerald Author Challenge that I saw. Although I wasn’t able to post it because I am not an Emerald Author yet, I like the prompt.

Prompt- supPOSEDLY (November play #2) Destroy something you feel is supposed about you… and tell me why you think it is, in the process.

Created by Plexiglassfruit, in the Emerald Lounge.

I sat there trying my best to listen, as my mother-in-law continued to chastise me. I should have never answered this god damn phone.

“Kennley, this isn’t the first time you acted like this. Rachel is offended and there’s no reason for it”, she yelled.

Squeezing the phone, I did my best to not come undone, “She’s always offended. Don’t you think it’s weird that Rachel will wait until the room is empty, to start conversations with me? She’s always done this!”

“You have no compassion. The way you act towards her is cold and I’m not the only one who notices it. You act the same way towards me, too. You’re very cold and to many people”, my mother-in-law claimed.

“Well, maybe these people who think this, should reflect on the moment that led up to my cold behavior. Beside you, Rachel and your friends who you talk to… who else thinks this? When you’re controlling the narrative & complaining to your friends and siblings, that kind of sets a tone. This is so stupid! Rachel started complaining about her bills and money like usual. She then throws her passive aggressive comments into the conversation. Then if I disagree or I become offended, she plays the tone deaf card and says she didn’t mean it negativity and if it came off that way, she’s so sorry… come on. This is why I do not talk to her and when I do, I keep it very surface-level”, I tried my best to explain myself in a calm manner.

“…And what did she say so negatively? She’s overwhelmed with finances and you tell her to just start paying her bills and she wouldn’t be dealing with this. That was insensitive and cold like I said.”

I let out a laugh of aggravation. I tossed my phone onto my dresser and continued straightening up. I can slowly feel my anger building and building, as if it’s going to shoot up through my head like a geyser. Once she finished her sentence, I ran across my bedroom so fast, you would think I was competing in a track meet.

“I did not say that! Rachel slipped a comment in, saying not everyone is lucky to have their parents and Poppy paying their bills like me. She mentioned that all my money is okay mone, which is why my kids have so much. She’s wrong and I have no idea why she keeps saying that! That’s offensive I pay my bills. All I did was telol Rachel to cut out unnecessary expenses like going out to eat or buying lottery tickets. That $40.00-$80.00 here and that $5.00 that is spent every day on lottery tickets, adds up and that money could be put towards her bills”, I explained.

“Oh come on Kennley! It’s your demeanor that’s offensive. She’s venting and you’re being rude”, my mother-in-law spewed.

I’m done. This right here is exactly why I am short and disconnected… or cold as they all have claimed for years, now. Nothing I say is right. When nothing you say or do is right and constantly used as ammunition, this is what causes my emotionless responses. If I don’t react after the constant picking and harassment, then I’m cold. If I do react, I’m unhinged. It’s not fair to me!

“Dawn, if you cannot see why I act the way I do around you and Rachel, then you both need to open your eyes. How I carry myself around you people, is for my own sanity. The way you describe me is so far from the truth and your son, my friends and everyone else who knows me, will tell you that. I am so emotional, but I‘ve learned to water myself down because If I didn’t, I’d be sick to my stomach everyday because of you people“, I yelled!

The phone went silent. Dawn didn’t say a word, so I continued.

“You‘ve told people that I’m scorned by my childhood, in the past. All because I didn’t agree. I’ve been talked about by you, ever since I stuck up for your son when you caused problems between he and his brother. I am not the cold one. It‘s you who is cold. It’s a problem to you all, since I am who I am. You’re embarrassed that I don’t act the way you want me to act, as you frolic within your wealthy friend group. I’m over this shit! I didn’t do anything wrong. This is why I try not to speak with you guys!”

Before I can finish my statement, I heard nothing. I looked at my phone and of course, my mother-in-law hung up. I launched my phone onto my bed and watched it bounce onto the floor.

“This seriously cannot be my real life”, I said to myself.

I continued my cleaning, so I can calm my nerves. This is the last time I allow either of them to do this to me. I’m nothing they say I am.