Childhood.

I wish… I wish I could go back to being a kid. To when I didn’t stress over everyday life or what I was going to do in the future. My only worries were where I left my toy last or what I wanted for lunch, (which was usually mac and cheese).

Every summer it was in the hundreds, but I didn’t care, all I cared about was playing in the mud after cooling off with the hose. My neighbor's kids would come over to play and we’d pretend to sell mud pies at a store, creating a checkout of an old tub and a chair. Who knew we’d grow up despising that very action that used to bring us so much joy?

I remember climbing trees and getting in trouble every single time I did it, but that did little to stop me, it was like a world of my own up there. I’d sometimes lay in the branches looking up at the pale blue sky as the breeze swept cool air over me and just almost felt like I was flying. It wasn’t till I would almost fall out of the tree that id realized I had fallen asleep.

I remember being able to watch my favorite shows without feeling a constant dread like I should be doing something else. Taking naps after playing too long instead of working too long. Eating a big bowl of ice cream and not thinking about how it might make me fat.

It is a cruel torcher to know such joy and peace just to have to have the passage of time rip it away from you. How cruel it is to know you can never find such peace again simply because your own brain won't allow you.

I wish I could go back to simpler times and smile at the flowers again.