Hitting the Wall

For the last few years, I've been obsessed with gender relations. I watched countless hours of YouTube videos on the subject from many different perspectives. What I found is that there is a lot of bitterness out there from both men and women.

There are a lot of women who just straight up hate men. There are also a lot of women who have decided that they are done with being a "strong independent" woman. They have reached a place in their life where they don't want to go through it alone anymore. However, they are having a hard time getting the men they want to take them seriously and they have come to the realization that they will be spending the rest of their lives alone.

There are also men who hate women. They resent women because they are in that large group of men with whom women won't give the time of day. There are also men who have witnessed friends or relatives being taken to the cleaners in divorce and hesitate to enter into that kind of arrangement themselves.

I am in that large group of men with whom women don't even see. There are reasons for that which I won't regurgitate here but once explained make perfect sense.

So, I have come to a place where I am sympathetic with the things women have to consider when selecting a partner. I can also accept that as a man I need to develop myself to a certain extent otherwise women aren't going to see me. I can choose to put in that work or if I think it's not worth it, not put in the work.

I never thought that I would ever be the object of any womans desire. I also thought I would end up as the guy that some woman had to settle for because she either let the guy she really wanted go or couldn't secure him in the first place.

However, I was wrong. This past year I met a woman who truly desired me. It was as amazing as I thought it would be. I had never felt love like that from anyone before. It would have been beyond amazing if that could have been maintained but that turned out not to be the case. Still, I don't regret it for even a moment. She loved me and it felt more real than anything else I have ever experienced. If she is reading this, she should know that she deserves both love and devotion.

I'm not ever going to be the same and it's in the best way possible. To leave someone in a better place than when you found them is a good thing and that is certainly the case with me. I don't expect to ever find that again but at least I now know it's possible.

You may be asking what "hitting the wall" means in terms of mate selection. What it means is that you are no longer capable of attracting the person you want. In the case of women, they can always get sex. There will always be some guy somewhere willing to have sex with you if you are desperate enough, but I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Men start out worthless (unless they have looks) and have to work to get to the place where they can attract the person they want. Most men never get to that place.

If you've seen a video by some woman who has realized that they don't want to be alone anymore and can no longer attract the person they want, it can be sad because you only live once and if you screw it up, that's pretty much it. However, I don't feel sorry for anyone, especially myself. I'm responsible for putting in the work to get the life I want. I either do it or I don't. That's what being a man is.

So, I'm doing it and the closer I get to that place, the more that women are going to notice. That's just the way it works. However, I'm not working on myself to attract a woman, I am working on myself because the more I work on myself, being the person I've always wanted to be, the happier I am going to be.

There is a woman who is worth being devoted to, I know because I've met her, and she has set the bar super high for any other woman that might find me attractive in the future.