The Gospel
Where do you get your ideas from?
Who are you?
What do you believe?
I say that a person is incapable of knowing who they are unless they are committed to doing certain things. Behaviors that have no outward utility or consistent application float away in the wind and become a history of confusion and often, carnality. How could you know yourself if you don't believe you mean anything to anybody? How can you know yourself if you don't see the impact you have on the world. How can you even exist if you don't hold any effect over anything?
What would there be for you to observe, if not the effect of your actions on others? I believe that to live without purpose, belief or responsibility is to be utterly lost and slave to base impulse. That experience goes beyond pain or depression. It literally makes you nothing.
Where do you get the narrative of your life from?
I am learning to get mine from the Bible.
Salvation is a true experience that a person goes through when putting their life in the hands of Jesus Christ. Truth is uncovered by the analysis and living of His life. There was a man, who was born immaculately, who lived a perfect life, who was the incarnate God who walked the earth and displayed a magnificent power to give life, He was hated by the blind and loved by the needy, He was killed by the established elite and He defeated death perfectly. In His wisdom he explained to us who we are and who He is, In His love he modelled righteousness for every generation that followed Him. In His grace he willingly died at the hands of the ignorant, taking our deserved punishment in our place so that we could be with Him in glory. The accounts of Jesus' existence and the experience of those who knew Him were so cogent, and powerful that they both uprooted the established religious structure at the time, but brought an exceedingly potent truth to the story of creation and acted as the distilled aspect of the message that God intended for mankind from the beginning. What was thought to be a need for religious activity and legalism was discovered to be a commandment of love.
What was thought to be a God who was separate from creation was proven to be a God intricately involved in the lives and thoughts of His people. Recognizing that the Old Testament was written in preparation for Jesus and the gospel and the Church confirms the existence of YHWH as the God of all creation. The testimonies and eyewitness accounts of his corporeal existence and resurrection lend credence to the established theological doctrine revealed to the authors of the New Testament. And the experience of the immediate change that happens in the heart during salvation and the output of a fruitful and sanctified Christian life that is manifested despite one's original nature, as facilitated by the Holy Spirit is proof enough for your's truly to be utterly convinced of the need for Christ. I was once (and recently) nothing more that a lost, hurting, and dying soul trying desperately to fashion my own god through false worship and exploration into my own dark heart. It led to addiction, sickness, heartache, debt, loss, and put me far too close to an early grave. I thank God for the deliverance that came with salvation and for the roadmap to fulfillment and purpose that is the Holy Scriptures.
I exhort you, look inward and recognize that you are inherently flawed. Understand that without God a person can do no good thing. Realize that the wages of sin truly is death, and that Hell follows shortly behind. The word Gospel means 'good news', and I encourage you to see that. Seek God, repent for your sin, turn fully to Him and find the truth that you have been running from. You need Him.