Without me, Without you

We have played this game since the end of it,

Who can act like they never cared the most?

You ended it,

But I cut contact.

This is what started it,

I couldn't stand being the stray who did you favors,

having me be your therapist,

but you didn't even reach out after the accident,

That's when I knew and I walked away from your sadness and sorrows.

Nobody tells you how much silence hurts,

stuck in a room with someone who used to fill you with such happiness,

now only unsaid bombs plague the air.

Who knew silence could cut me to the core?

You were bitter and in turn, lashed out,

In turn, I became bitter too,

because how could you care so deeply then hurt me so for putting me first?

something you knew I already had great trouble with,

but you couldn't let it go and had to make it that much harder.

You kept hurting me because you couldn't handle how life treated me.

So I took it a step further and removed myself from all aspects of your life.

I let the ocean sweep me away

because I couldn't take the shore beating on me any longer.

If you cared so little why did you keep watch of me like a guard dog?

We were caught in a never-ending dance of who could do the most damage,

I did mine by removing myself,

you always hated that I could leave so easily when I knew my time was up

because you could never do the same, letting people abuse you for fun.

You did yours by making me a number,

you knew I hated how you could rank me on your scale in your notes,

skillfully threatening where my name would end up on that list,

you never knew how to hold back did you?

Then one night you visited me once again,

we were where we first met,

we were just kids, yet we were here all grown up now.

I carried on as if nothing happened laughing like my life depended on it.

You questioned me then,

You broke the fourth wall of my dream

and asked why I was so happy after everything that has happened

I was taken aback it is my dream after all, so why can't we just enjoy it?

I replied that I had learned and moved on,

I have grown from what you have put me through

and have chosen to put it behind me.

You paused baffled at the way I carried myself.

I then asked how you have been dealing with life,

We talked about everything with no hindrance or malice,

and when we were both content with the conversation,

The morning came.

With it so did the confusion of the rawness that a dream could hold.

I just pray you were there in that dream too,

That we talked and connected about what happened,

That you got the same closure I did,

even if it was never really you who gave it to me.