A Short Tale of a Killing

Have you ever had a friend that understood your soul?

Eric was my guy.

Have you ever had a friend that took a different path than you?

Eric was that guy. Drugs in a grey room. Alcohol from dawn until dusk. Jobs on and off.

It was not so meaningful that I could say anything to him, but what was truly beautiful is that he wanted to listen. He wanted to understand and accompany me with an open ear and mind. 

As I did for him.

For a while. 

Has someone you cared so deeply before ever hurt you in ways you could not imagine?

Eric had his moment. 

Have you ever wanted to hurt someone who has hurt you?

I have. I wanted to hurt him so much more badly. I wanted him to feel the burn from my words. I wanted his ribs to crack at the sound of my roar. I wanted to see him fall to the ground, face soaked in tears. And then I still wanted to keep going.

And I almost did.

But Eric made his comeback. We were both broken, and would never quite be the same.

Has someone ever been so bold to apologize and ask for your forgiveness?

Eric became that guy.

Have you ever been able to look at your scars, and let someone help you heal?

I didn't. 

"You were the person that made me fight, made me feel light in my own fucked up world. I love you man, I always will, forever, and I am so sorry for what I said. Maybe you'll never forgive me and it makes me want to rip my skin off. I just need you to know that I'm sorry and I love you."

After months of ignoring countless apologies from Eric, these were the last words I read from him. 

And then I found out he took his own life. 

Have you ever felt like you killed someone?

I have.