Today, I Died Again

My grandfather once told me that everyone will die,

But few will do it twice.

I am here today to prove him wrong.

Let me count the ways.

Should I be bored to tears?

Did I meet my maker or was I laid to rest?

Have I kicked the bucket?

Or must I bite the dust?

This morning, I withered away and pushed up daisies.

Then I passed, expired, called home, gave up the ghost, and left for parts unknown.

Eventually, I wasted away, felt no pain, bought the farm, and rode into the sunset.

I wanted to withdraw to more favorable frontiers, but I had to cash in, and croak first.

Eventually, I should crossover or, perhaps, take my final curtain call.

So many choices; so little time.

There was shuffling off to Buffalo, translate into glory, or get “murdalized”

Each would take more planning than I currently expected.

Penultimately, I debated ending it all, losing the race, discovering details of “annihilation”.

Opting, instead, to join the church triumphant in style, so to speak.

But, then I got better,

Much to the dismay of others, including myself.

In retrospect, maybe my grandfather was right.

Everyone will die once.

Instead of me.

I am going to set the record.