Acting is…Waiting

The first time I stepped onto a stage of my own accord, I felt dwarfed.

The lights overhead were blinding, the empty space around me so huge I almost wanted to spread my arms out just to prove to myself that there was no one there behind me waiting to pounce. I chose to do this?

When the song I’d practiced for so many hours earlier that day started to play, my voice was shallow, the music seemingly miles away, and the words I thought I knew by heart barely came forward in time. Needless to say, that audition didn’t go well.

But somehow, despite the stage fright and the equally terrible dance call later on, the only thought going through my mind as I left the theater was “holy shit, I want to do that again.”

So I did, and I still do, and I keep moving toward the day I can take the stage for a crowd with a spark in my step and confidence in my smile.

My voice still weakens a little when I go up now, and the anxiety when the lights hide the room hasn’t gone away.

But I don’t shrink under the pressure.

I don’t forget the words, and the music follows with me.

Now when I step onto the stage, I almost feel a little bigger.