Karen

We locked eyes in a Subway

although I wish we hadn’t

She was gorgeous

She ordered the Meatball Marinara special,

proving her disdain and lack of experience in deli meat consumption

Meatball Marinara!

In a fine establishment like this!

The outrage

It would have been unforgivable if she had not been so astoundingly attractive

Her clothes, a top the color of blood, a warning of the chaos she causes

her shoes, stilettos completely unpractical for the winter in anywhere but LA

Her nose, the perfect slope of y= x squared

Her eyes, the same eclectic blue of laundry detergent, although she clearly wouldn’t know

The same glint of frustration and determination of a weed whacker in an impossibly large front yard

She snaps her fingers at an employee

soft hands, un calloused neither by manual labor nor the works of life

She rolls her eyes, snarling

Like when you step in a puddle wearing socks

The employee does not catch on, or does not care, about her annoyance

He simply cuts her chosen bread and carries on

He puts peppers on her sandwich

Oh the mistake he hath made

He shalt unleash the fury that resides within

She screams, a bellow of pain, of personal attack

Why, she acts as if he has personally slew her firstborn child

She demands to be brought the manager as tribute immediately

When he reveals that he hath been the manager all along it enrages her

Her hair, the color of american cheese slices, appears in an updo resting over her head

Hastily tied up, to prepare for her battle with authority

How dare her waive her autonomy, assuming she would like peppers? She demands

She will not receive any answer

She angrily pops her bubblegum, snapping it in the face of the manager

He rolls his eyes and sighs

It is the pristine image of an old cowboy duel

The Connecticut Subway may as well be Texas in 1870s

It iss practically playing the old Western music

It is human nature to be glued to viewing this event

Unable to look or look away

Like watching a car accident on the side of the highway,

knowing someone is going to perish

The manager should not have been so foolish as to engage

When going against a Karen, the battle has already been lost