Karen
We locked eyes in a Subway
although I wish we hadn’t
She was gorgeous
She ordered the Meatball Marinara special,
proving her disdain and lack of experience in deli meat consumption
Meatball Marinara!
In a fine establishment like this!
The outrage
It would have been unforgivable if she had not been so astoundingly attractive
Her clothes, a top the color of blood, a warning of the chaos she causes
her shoes, stilettos completely unpractical for the winter in anywhere but LA
Her nose, the perfect slope of y= x squared
Her eyes, the same eclectic blue of laundry detergent, although she clearly wouldn’t know
The same glint of frustration and determination of a weed whacker in an impossibly large front yard
She snaps her fingers at an employee
soft hands, un calloused neither by manual labor nor the works of life
She rolls her eyes, snarling
Like when you step in a puddle wearing socks
The employee does not catch on, or does not care, about her annoyance
He simply cuts her chosen bread and carries on
He puts peppers on her sandwich
Oh the mistake he hath made
He shalt unleash the fury that resides within
She screams, a bellow of pain, of personal attack
Why, she acts as if he has personally slew her firstborn child
She demands to be brought the manager as tribute immediately
When he reveals that he hath been the manager all along it enrages her
Her hair, the color of american cheese slices, appears in an updo resting over her head
Hastily tied up, to prepare for her battle with authority
How dare her waive her autonomy, assuming she would like peppers? She demands
She will not receive any answer
She angrily pops her bubblegum, snapping it in the face of the manager
He rolls his eyes and sighs
It is the pristine image of an old cowboy duel
The Connecticut Subway may as well be Texas in 1870s
It iss practically playing the old Western music
It is human nature to be glued to viewing this event
Unable to look or look away
Like watching a car accident on the side of the highway,
knowing someone is going to perish
The manager should not have been so foolish as to engage
When going against a Karen, the battle has already been lost