Just Another Bad Day

One sentence was all it took.

As if a switch was flipped, your mood changed in an instant. Your expression turned dark. Your stomach felt twisted. You started sweating, even though the weather was cold.

It was as if someone pressed the trigger and shot you.

You felt warm liquid filling your eyes. That's when you knew that it was time to hide. Things were getting out of your hands and you didn’t want anyone to find that out. Especially not those people who were the very reason why you were like that.

You got up from the chair and ran straight to the bathroom, not turning back to see the surprised and shocked look of people sitting around dinning table. You didn’t stop to hear them blurting out stuffs like "Hey, what's wrong? Where are you going?"

You felt nauseous, balancing yourelf holding onto the bathroom sink. You grabbed the left side of your chest to feel your heart beating violently, as if you'd run a race. You felt short of breath.

You tried so hard not to feel this. The same feeling kept you up last night. You wished that a good night's sleep would make things better, that you would wake up feeling fine next morning.

Those insincere people, they had to remind you what you had been trying so hard to forget. They had to ruin your mood. They would act so ignorant as if they were all innocent, as if they hadn’t been the reason why this terrible feeling was eating you up.

You started crying. People who never experienced these feelings would think you was being dramatic, that you was literally crying over something silly, so silly that everyone else forgot about it and talking about it so casually as if it were a joke. As if it didn’t made you lose your mind into overthinking. As if it wasn’t a trauma trigger for you.

Once you were done crying, you started blowing imaginary candles to calm your breathing and heart as well. It made you feel better. Maybe you could go through next few minute with this until the switch flipped itself again.

You got out of the bathroom and closed the door to your room. You weren’t ready to face people yet. It'd be better for you and everyone if you stayed holed up in your room for today.

You needed to be with yourself more than anyone on a day like this. Because who else would take care your messed-up mind other than you?

No one.