I Fell In Love With You On A Rainy Day

1.

While organizing her things and tidying up her room, she happened to open her secret closet.

The closet where she kept all his memories.

Twelve years had passed. But going through those things today, she felt like it was only yesterday when she became his fangirl. Her heart ached in melancholy.

Fangirling. She never knew what it meant until she met him. She thought she would be listening to him even when she would turn thirty, and even after that. Ah, how wrong she was.

She remembered those days clearly. Those days of euphoria, heartbeats, excitement. Feelings that she alone cherished and treasured. Also, those days when her friends and even loved ones mocked her for being his fan, but that made her hold onto him even more. There was a time when she thought about him all day and even dreamed about him.

Those days when she, who was never into documentaries, watched documentaries on him for hours, getting to know him even more. The way he worked hard and pursued his dream motivated her to do the same. He was her idol.

She genuinely respected him for his music and his way of storytelling. She loved him. Not like those obsessive fans who wanted to marry him, but in her own way. Like a best friend, or like someone special...

In a way, he was her first love. Not a crush-like love, it was a different kind of love that only fans would understand.

How did things end up like this?

Maybe it started when she got into college, around that time when everything got hectic. She stopped starting her day listening to his music. She didn't have time for listening to him during the rest of the day, either. In fact, she barely had time to do anything.

Without knowing, she was letting go of his hands.

Sorry. I’m so sorry I let go of you.

Today, that secret closet brought back old memories. Memories that were covered with dust.

She looked outside the window. It was raining. It reminded her of the first time she ever listened to him. She later bought the whole album, it was the first album she ever bought and she bought it with her pocket money.

She took out the CD, put it into her ages-old CD player and plug her headphones in.

Tears streamed down her face. Tears of nostalgia. Tears of melancholy.

I miss you so much. You were there for me when no one else was. How could I let go of your hand?

Today, on a rainy day, she remembered her lost love.

2.

Twelve years ago, on a rainy day.

Even though it was 10 a.m. in the morning, it looked like it was afternoon as the sky was overcast with clouds.

She was lying on the bed, looking outside the bedside window and listening to the melodic sound of rainfall. Rainy days always made her feel happy and calm, with a little bit of melancholy.

She took her phone and started searching for a song to listen to. A song that would fit the mood of this rainy day perfectly. She scrolled and scrolled until she found something.

She pressed the play button.

Followed by a calming piano instrumental, soothing voice filled up her room mixed with the sound of rainfall. She closed her eyes and listened. She didn’t even know the lyrics of the song, and the language was foreign. But she could feel the emotions of the musician, and she felt melancholy.

Even when the song ended, the lingering feeling of melancholy stayed in her heart. She played the song again.

After the song ended, she was already curious about the singer. She looked him up online, and learned that he was actually a rapper who was a member of a boyband. The song she bumped into was not a rap song, though. She decided to listen to some of his other songs.

It was the beginning of a new chapter in her life, but she wasn’t aware of that.

Even though she was never a fan of rap music, she fell for his rapping. Before she knew it, he was slowly stealing her heart. Or to be honest, it was his music that stole her heart. Without realizing, she was spending more and more time listening to his music, and thinking more about him. And one day, she realized that she had become his fan.

His music made her feel at home. And she could relate to him as a person. His songs were like a warm hug that comforted her. When she felt like a weirdo and thought no one in the world would ever understand her, he made her feel understood. When she was sinking in depression, he told her that her feelings were valid. On lonely day and nights, his music kept her company.

But like every other good things, one day she lost him too.