Anything.
I'm exhausted. My eyes are burning. My eyelids are heavy and keep dropping. I need to sleep, but the thought of waking up again to do this all over again is even more exhausting.
So here I am. Sitting in front of this machine. Typing whatever pops in my mind. Avoiding the reality. Because if I take the time to reflect and realize what my life has become, I'm going to never want to sleep again.
It can't keep going like this. I can't keep waking up and immediately want to go back to sleep. I can't keep thinking the hours of the day are just meant to be kept busy until I can go back to bed.
Something has to change. Even if I don't know what that change is. Or where to begin.
Do I need to go to sleep first so that I have a clear head? Or do I sit here and rack my overworked brain for ideas until I have no energy and just plop my head down and pass out.
Ugh, my eyes are so sore. And my eyelids can't stay up anymore. But I don't want to sleep. I want to do something. Change something. Act something. Do anything!
As long as I keep writing, I can still change. So I need to keep writing. Just write. Anything, as long as I'm still writing, I'm doing something. And hopefully, that will lead to something more.