I get to choose

I get to choose.

Today is my birthday. My 10th birthday. In the shelter, this means I get to choose one foodstuff from the pantry. I heard so much about the variety of flavors and tastes from the old days. Before she died of the sickness, my mother told me of chocolate and strawberries and even something called chips. I never believed all of the stories about these foods. I don't even believe they ever existed.

But that was then. Today is my 10th birthday and I get to choose.

My friends told me to pick the biggest thing I could find. Others said to go for the one that has no smell for it must still be good after the 16 years since the war. My best friend wants me to take my time and get something I could share.

Not today.

Not from the pantry.

I am going to make the most important decision of my life and take a bite out of history. I am going to see if all of those pictures in the books and magazines were just lies or something so much more.

I am hoping for so much more.

I have 2 minutes to choose once the door opens.

I need only 2 seconds.

I see it right in front of me. I heard about it during story time about a ritual called, "Halloween". The teacher (who is now blind from the light from Day 1) told us about it.

And there it was for the taking.

I chose a "Snickers".

Bite size and factory sealed, I started to salivate at the possibilities.

But not for long.

I tore into that wrapper and ate it all in one bite.

I was in Heaven for the moment. That one moment where the misery of the war doesn't dictate every single action of my life. That one moment that makes me wonder if all of the old stories were true. Did people actually live topside? In the air, unprotected? Is there really a sun? And if so, what does it feel like to be warm? Or safe? Or clean?

12 seconds into my 10th birthday and I finished my present.

All that I have remaining is a memory of what I missed.

I go to bed hungry and cry for yet another reason.