medicine.
swallow down your pills to start the day. count them with me, now - don't forget that this is what is keeping you Alive.
one. (grief.)
two. (pain.)
three. (poison.)
four. (suffering.)
five. (fear.)
(there is grief, and pain, in the poison of suffering from that which we call life... but everyone lives, and everyone experiences fear.)
still with me? very good. next set, hon. when you get all done I'll take those vitals for ya & then let you go right back to sleep.
six. (strength.)
seven. (courage.)
eight. (ambition.)
nine. (pride.)
ten. (tears.)
(Strength fails sometimes, but it takes courage to pick yourself back up again and work towards higher aims. Only then can you look back at how far you've come with pride and tears in your eyes.)
you're doing great. almost done. it's not fair, but life isn't fair, and we don't get to choose.
eleven. (dread.)
twelve. (isolation.)
thirteen. (panic.) -
(the dread i feel at an implied isolation, a loss of independence, leaves me in a panic. this will not be my future. the pills halt halfway down my chest.)
you gotta keep going, baby. almost there, you're almost there. four more, hear me? only four left.
*four left. four left. four left. stack them up. stack them high, like bricks, let them climb the ladder of my esophagus inside my chest to escape the cavity of my body's prison, let them be free of me*
fourteen. (lonely.) fifteen. (alone) sixteen. (..alone.) seventeen.. (...)
Oh, shit, did she just- *She's not breathing, call Blue-* Trying Heimlich now, get a Doctor in here- *I need a Trach, NOW!*-
*Code Blue in E2. Code Blue in E2. Code Blue in E2.*
~~
time to wake up, hon. good morning! brought you your
medicine.
swallow down your pills to start the day. count them with me, now - don't forget that this is what is keeping you Alive.