The grating sound of my teeth makes it's treacherous way to my ears as I storm out of the corporate building and onto the bright street.
I wish I could say pathetic fallacy because I feel pretty pathetic right now but I can't because if this was a pathetic fallacy then it would be raining or something.
How could they do this to me! The moronic boss man-- no sorry, IDIOT didn't take my interview into consideration as soon as I delivered it, like a perfect performance at a concert, he was all like, "No, this dumb corporation has a better idea! We're going to hire an idiot because we need to present a united front. Sorry!"
I kick a small Pepsi can as I walk to the bus stop. Then I realize that my reaction wasn't big enough so I take off my coat and trample it because why would I need it now? If they can't recognize my obvious genius then who would?! Now I need to go live in the suburbs and become a cashier at a Walmart! I ruffle up my short brown hair and decide that a proper reaction would be to walk it off like an adult. But I guess only proper people can work at big companies so I scream into my elbow.
Some teenagers across the street are filming me so I give them the finger.
"Hey!" I look up and see a homeless man beckoning to me from the bus stop.
I roll my eyes, "I don't have any money, hipster."
The man grins amusedly, "I wasn't asking for money, bougie." He points to my coat, "Can you pick that up and bring it to me?"
I take a step back with shock, "No! That's my coat!"
The man's smile turns wry, "It didn't look like it."
I pick up my coat, make a show of putting it on and walk over the bus stop and set myself down right next to him, "My coat."
The man shrugs, "You seem pretty down. Tell you what. If I can make you smile, will you give me your coat?"
I turn to him, a huge frown on my face, "You can try.
"I have a knock-knock joke but you have to start it."
I roll my eyes again, "Knock-knock."
"Who's there?" he asks, sounding genuinely confused.
We stare at each other in completely bewilderment for a beat.
When I get on the bus I am without a coat.