The Something

Perfection is a game of tug-of-war,

that every pull is another step towards the temporary shower of praise and self-worth.

Tugging on the rope again and again,

hoping to make progress

but the person, the thing, the thought, the something

is on the other end, holding the rope as if it is nothing between its fingers.

Enduring through the rough straw along your skin

as you grip harder till your knuckles go white,

you watch as you pull, closer and closer the rope slips through

the fingers of “the something” until “the something” pinches at it, stopping it, making sure you know you haven’t won yet.

Logical thinking would say

“the something” is stronger than you,

as it is holding the rope you are so desperately trying to pull back to win between its fingers,

but you’ve won this game before, for you have played many times.

Occasionally, you find yourself at the point of losing one of these games,

where “the something” cheats and snaps the rope,

making sure it gets more of it than you do. The cut ropes next to you as you play are just reminders of

all your losses and failures.

Playing tug-of-war with “the something” is never enjoyable, for you get berated and mocked.

“The something” uses its other hand to pull words from the mud underneath your feet and throws it at you.

Now, you are a mess.

The smell of mud and dirt fills your nose; you feel disgusting.

“How are you so bad at this?”

the something mocks as it tugs, giving you hope but destroying it the second later. You’re distraught, what can you do?

You need to calm yourself down, give yourself tranquility.

Once the object is in your hand,

you cut the rope,

just a sliver.

This calms you down as soon as you do it; it gives you the feeling that you are in control.

You calm down and get back into the game,

“the something” still laughing and pulling at the rope.

But doing this makes you feel guilty.

How are you any better than “the something”?

You just cut the rope just as

“the something” would do.

It’s not the time to feel guilty, but you can’t help but have it added to your back of responsibilities.

You grab the rope, fingers tightened around the straw, pulling as hard as you can.

Now that you’ve calmed down, you have gained strength.

“The something” feels threatened. You pull one last time and the rope is yours, the knot in the middle stuck in the mud as it fell from “the something”’s grasp.

"The something” gives you a slow clap,

as you smile from your achievement.

You did it.

You struggled but you finished.

No one saw the struggle of getting the rope to your side but they got to see the achievement.

That’s all that matters.

Right?

“The something” steps back up and swings another end of a rope to your side of the mud.

The routine starts again, for there is more perfection to perform.