Hemingway said to write the truest sentence you know
I think I am sad.
Sad to fly, to experience, to know
The traveler —
Sad, to be free?
And even sadder
When sitting alongside peace
An unfamiliar calm
Kundera said:
The unbearable lightness of being —
And I understand.
When the weight of the world
The burden, the pain, the obstacles
The bills, the kids, the hustle —
Those heavy crashing waves of darkness
Beat against your chest
One after another —
That man. The many men.
Heartbreak, loss, grief
The unknown, and nothing is promised —
The girth of it. The literal and
Physical and mental heaviness of it
Freedom is fleeting.
The anchor eventually becomes
Your comfort
Your stability.
A weight that keeps you grounded
Despair cries, and so do you
Loud and fierce but beaten
Into submission, you oblige
You conform and crawl beneath
The barrel of joy long hollow
Steel upon sulfur upon pewter dreams
Gone stifled and chorused
In a blue heat of arrest
But then one day —
You are light like dawn
Almost empty, and ascending
And floating above endlessly
The expectation of boundary gone wild
And you gasp
Am I alone?
Can I go here, or there —
Yes.
Nothing and no one is detaining you
The noose of submission has been tethered
And the sadness you feel for
Your captor gone romantic is perverse
But the reality is freedom pounding light
So light that your fist penetrates the wall
Fallen in Berlin style
And nothing is real
Just fabricated borders collapsing
And it is sad.
It is a dichotomy of arriving and —
Am I lost.
Used by the pillars of angst
Who am I now
Free?
Weeping am I behind a pink moon
A sigh so loud that no one looks
I am free.
And perhaps I am afraid of
How far I will fall
With no shackles to stop me.