a Mother’s lullaby

"hey mom?"

I'll whisper the words as I start to drift off, surrounded by her warm embrace

the dark scent of earth filling my nose, my mouth, my lungs; fingers rooted, holding me secure -

whispering my question, a quivering, thin voice of fear, of uncertainty, of what will be when I awaken, what I could ever be without her, just a soul when she is gone.

whispering, still."mom, do you think I'll ever get to the part of my life where I finally get to live?" tears blinked back, voice heavy with grief, with sleep, with exhaustion at the weight of the years that I have carried.

"Oh, my dear," she will say, squeezing me tighter, wrapping closer, flowers and grasses and leaves and curls all fluttering, the wind stroking my hair with her reply, gently brushing at cheeks, wiping tears that fall fast and far away from above to keep them from peppering my skin.

a hint of a smile, but wiped clean, quickly, no trace of amusement, simply pure, unadulterated love for the ignorance and purity of one as new as i in this universe: "My dear, sweet one... what do you think it is, up 'til now, that you've been doing?"

close your eyes, when you hear it. can you hear it, yet? i nearly, nearly can - one day i will... that voice, singing me to sleep so far away, given sparsely, only at the tipping point, helping me to recognize the past-gone time for living. the future will be mine to rest in for eternity.