I’m too open on Prose

I don’t know where to start this. I’ve got so many thoughts, so many wishes on the subject Even regrets.

so I’ll start here. I’ve known I’ve gone down this cycle many times where I can’t get you out of my head, as of late you’re constantly on my mind to the point where it’s getting in healthy. There’s a breaking point, a climax, and point of no return and it can either end good but most likely down a worse path if I keep pursuing the idea of you seeing, the idea of us being one again.. which I know is impossible..

for me to write and write and pour my soul many times over in hope you see my heart through the screen of your phone but to no luck most times.. I wish you would act on my words so badly most times but I know it won’t happen. when you say you toss and turn knowing I’m in the same town what does it mean? Does it mean you want to see me? Are you feeling what I’m feeling? Did we both make mistakes in choosing our partners? I’m so confused it hurts. I’m spiraling thinking about all these scenarios knowing none will come true. So I need to know from you what I should do? I feel like this weight on my chest grows heavier and heavier each day and it’s taking its toll on my health. I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m worried about you daily and I’m worried about me too..

please reach out because I’m afraid I’m at my breaking point where I might cut ties all together.

I hope you really know how much of an influence you’ve had on my life even after you being married. It hurts

so so much. You’re all I think about despite being with another. For when you walked away from e last I spent years looking for love that couldn’t amount to half of you.

im drowning in drowning in drowning.