I despise
being the broken one of the family.
The one that siblings and parents need to check on
to make sure that I am taking care of myself.
The one who will probably never be able to live on their own.
The one who can't seem to get a handle on their emotions.
The one that everyone worries about
and whispers about as if I'm not even there.
I hate being this person.
That feels like they are a burden
who constantly needs looking after,
like I'm a child who needs a babysitter
because they are worried that I'll stick a fork
into an electrical socket and fuck up my entire life.
But the truth is that my life already feels fucked up,
and I honestly don't know how to get it back on track.
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