Aphids on the Underside

3, 2, 1….. Clang! Clang!

And just look at those feisty aphids on the underside of the Giant Hickory bark!

Watch the crowd of onlookers as their mouths drop during this fiasco!

Oh ho ho!

This speed-eating contest is by far

an all-out slob-fest!

And these wee, tiny pests are suckling like little madmen

for the sweet, sticky sap

that drips on the nether halves of these bark loaves,

to see who can achieve first place

for expanding their perky, pear-shaped bellies to that of a prickly-pineapple figure!

30 seconds left!

Here we go now on to the final ticks of the clock!

And for all of us gathered here at Bluefern Forest to encourage the festivities,

we have come to find ourselves

drenched in the saliva-goo that escapes the lips within this hungry chow-down!

Blah! (Who would’ve thought to bring an umbrella?!)

5 seconds to go!

And 3, 2, 1! Cling! Cling!

WE HAVE A WINNER!

Please, stand up, young, yellow fellow!

Ladies and gentlemen, your new champion of speed-bark-eating in the Aphid category:

Alphonse Beech!

Let this be an honor to you, young speckle,

for rightly did you entertain the eager audience today!