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what keeps you going?
i wrote a poem for the monthly poetry challenge for april (it was to write your longest poem). it's called "51. i write too many poems about death" which was 50 reasons why i want to live (in case you want to check it out on my profile for inspiration). i was a suicidal teen, so that's where it comes from for me, but even if you've never wanted to die, i want to know the reasons you want to live - anything from big things to small things

A list

-my heart, which inexhaustible refuses to stop

-my body, inexorable, which continues to move

-time which clocks from day to day, my restless limbs

-which must unfortunately wake and drag me from the soft embrace of slothful sleep

-bony fingers squeezing into the too bright dawn of a new day

-my lungs which moment to moment bring in breath, not air

-my work which doesn't wait for me

-every day I am expected

-to be in a certain place

-I must, I guess, walk through the motions, say and do the things expected

-I am the flesh only with the spirit is gone

-I walk like one alive, but truly dead

-perhaps I died and I do not know it yet

-My family, whom, would be inconvenienced

-death is messy, perhaps too much to bear

-if only something quiet and quick could take me away

-an unexplainable accident, unladen with stigma

I live not because it pleases me

even though from time to time, a ray

will pierce the gloom and I'll be briefly at peace

but because the machinery of my body goes from breath to breath

from now, till death

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