1. Illinois sucks anyway

I sit in my darkened room, staring at the old Brittney Spears poster that fell off my wall two weeks ago. I've decided it's not worth my time picking it up. my eyes drift to the digital clock on my decades-old pink vanity—7:45 am. I'm running late. I let out a heavy sigh and lift my emotionally malnourished body off of the creaky twin-sized bed that I've slept in since second grade.

The emotional hermit of a human I call Mom hasn't refurbished my room since my dad died. When he committed suicide Karol decided that she'd take up a hobby in apathy. She doesn't talk to me until absolutely necessary and doesn't seem to care about anything I do since I got out of ED recovery. She never seems to notice that the only time I ever even leave my room is for school, and today is my last day, after today, I am graduated.

I make my way to the bathroom to wash my face and throw on makeup. I look at the person in the mirror. she looks like me, but half alive. I wash my face and put on enough makeup to hide the paleness of my skin, I muster up a smile and head down to the kitchen. Kallum is standing by the door excitedly. I look at the plate of food my mother left out for me and leave the house. I get in my 2004 Chevy Silverado and drive. Kallum chooses the music, it winds up being some video game music I've never heard of. I crank the volume and keep my eyes on the road. Kallum is rocking out doing air guitar and mouthing the lyrics. I smile to myself. I love him.

we pull into Galena High School. Kallum's eyes light up as he sees his girlfriend. A small black girl with pigtails, blue and pink glitter eyeshadow, and an oversized letterman jacket knocks on my passenger window. Kallum rolls it down and gives her a passionate kiss.

"PDA!" i yell playfully and shoo him out of my car. They both giggle and run off into the school yard. a large purple school bus with the words "CLASS OF 2008!" spray painted on the side pulls into the school parking lot. Jocks pour out of the badly painted bus and start chanting.

"C.L.A.S.S of 20 06, C.L.A.S.S of 20 06". I roll up my passenger window, put in the new Amy Winehouse CD, and wait for the bell to ring. I run to class, trip 4 times and make it into Ms. Sanchez's class with 26 seconds to spare.

Ms. Sanchez is the best teacher in the entire school. she's taken care of me all year and helped me pass all my classes, now i get to spend my last day in her classroom. I know everyone but i don't really have friends, it never really bothered me until Ms. Sanchez says the worst sentence an introvert could hear.

"Everyone find a partner". I have a mini panic attack and wind up partnering with the teacher, which I don't mind but everyone will give me weird looks. but at this point, I'm used to being looked at this way. we play a trivia game. you pick a random prompt, and you have to answer it about one of the people in the partnership and see if you come up with the same answer. luckily I've eaten lunch with Sanchez all year and I know more about her than any of the students.

"favorite color? 1, 2, 3!" i smirk

"Purple!" we say in unison

"Spirit animal?"

"Albatross!"

"Dream travel destination?"

"I don't know this one," she says to me with an eyebrow raised

"Amsterdam" I respond shyly

"That's a good answer though" she chuckles "Illinois sucks anyway"

I feel good.