I didn’t do it....

It took 10 minutes of staring the screen to start typing. I'm so tired I need to find a better way top do all of this. A better way to exist, I'm not sure what that looks like or even where to start but based on how progress has been slowing lately, I need to find a better way. I also noticed how my efforts aren't focused on a particular goal instead it's some sort of soft focus on who I want to be. I think I'll find more success that way.

I also have observed that I internalise the wrong things, I'm a little too hard on myself thats gonna take to long to work on. Because of my soft focus and unclear goals instead of exposing myself like I said I would, I only changed my profile picture to my face. I guess it counts but .... who am I convincing.

I'm speaking with more people and no longer as socialy anxious but I feel like as sooon as i go out I'll crumble. Whenever I have to face hardship I crumble, I fold, I'll look for ways to overcome it but right now it feels like a matter of practice and experience.

Hopefully I can carry yesterday's hope and optimism into tomorrow cos I don't see it today.