A Day well spent

Today was a good one, had fun with my nieces and nephew, played video games, all day I had to planned to have fun outside, but the weather didn't permit it. Glad I still can have fun; thought I'd feel guilty for not doing something productive. But it was a good change of pace, I just wish I wasn't so tired I wasn't my usual energetic self. Hopefully they don't think I was mad at them or anything.

I am really tired I've written a few words but I've been writing for 10 minutes. Let me list some of the thoughts and ideas that were floating in my head:

1.)The body has its limits but often what we perceive as limits are just alarm bells telling us not push further to avoid any damage or discomfort, you can push past those perceived limits, but you must be ready to deal with the consequences.

2.)My desire to start a business and abondon the passion I dedicated my life to is just me taking the easy way out, It's just another form of running away from emotions disguised as a rational decision.

3.)I haven't grown much in the past few weeks I only became better at being honest with myself and noticing my flaws. I can't carry on this way I need to prove myself to myself.

4)I can feel myself slowly becoming more complacent, I'm negotiating with the better parts of myself to just "let loose" "relax" "give myself a break", just this once etc. It's easy to fight the feeling now, but if I'm asked by someone else my people pleasing and fear of disapproval might be enough for me to cave in.

5.)I don't have a third gear I'm either barely moving off or flying down a highway. What I mean is I can't be in the middle whether it's a disagreement, a simple decision or a couple drinks, I can't really moderate.

6.)Whenever I do something I'm quick to quit as long as I'm not bored I'll keep doing it but If I start having any doubts or I'm no longer entertained I convince myself to stop.

Well I'm at 12 minutes now, for the sake of discipline I'll keep going. I'm tired I keep dosing off, did twice the physical work today even though I had the time, feels good, but I realise I don't get the right amount of sleep. Or at least quality sleep according to "experts".

7.) I almost always over promise, I offer too much, sometimes I offer things I can't provide, I need to learn to bite my tongue or handle whatever caused me say I could provide a freind of mine with a phone. I believed it at the time and I do want her to have a phone but....

8.) I prioritice the wrong things, things that do nothing for me..

20 seconds left.

9.)......