I cannot stand the sight of you.

Here we go again. Get married, they said. Find a partner who will continue choosing you, they said. Boy; the colours you've shown before are not the same colours you're showing now. Once a muted brown and orange robin, you're now a proud, cocky peacock. You're now everything I stand against, lumped one in one person. An inconsiderate, rude, unkind person.

To me of course. Because your friends, your family - even the world out there; have only seen the considerate and kind person your skin shows. But deeper than that there's nothing. To hell with the God you pray for; if you think you're a good person because you have him in your corner; then I don't want to believe. You think you're so high and mighty, looking down on me in contempt when I am the one who brought you to where you are right now.

You get angry because I help people all the time - well guess what; you wouldn't have made it to within miles of where you are today if it weren't for my help. And I don't know why I keep on sacrificing myself for you in every action; little and big. Thinking that these crumbs of love that you're giving me are what I deserve. Thinking that I should have seen this coming from 10 years ago, so I only have myself to blame. Thinking that it must be in my head since you're so nice to everyone else.

Fuck you; and the pain you've caused me. Keeping me hanging on by a single mental thread; constantly watching your back to make sure I don't cut myself free from you. Selfish bastard.