I stopped Looking for Love

When I was young, every single glance meant something, a single touch, a single smile, an accidental glaze of shoulders, a simple inquiry of how I am doing…I would magnify it into something big.

Maybe I was desperate or crazy. I was a big romantic, I dreamed of someone of my own who would turn my fantasies into my reality. Someone who would be outgoing, hold a conversation, a great host if we had a party and who would not mind my awkwardness.

But how could someone notice me when I didn't stand out? or even wanted to. I didn't fit the mold of a typical romantic interest, and my introverted nature made it hard for others to connect with me. I wasn't into social media, trends, makeup; I preferred the background. If someone showed interest in me, I would avoid them like plagues. My conversations felt forced, and my moods were unpredictable.

After trying tried too hard masking myself only to end up in disappointing relationships, I gave up. Maybe it was true that not all of us can find love. Perhaps there is a reason for the supportive, ever-present bestfriend in every story. There has be to that plain and unassuming character.