The Program

The Program

August 05, 2024

“OMG! He’s awake!”

I heard her voice, but could not place the face.

“Where am I? What happened?”

“Steve, you’re in the hospital. You survived a car crash. The other driver was a hit-and-run. I came as soon as I could. How are you feeling?”

“Confused. Who are you?

“Don’t you remember? I am your wife, Lisa. I brought the kids with me. They are watching us from the window on your left.”

“Are you my doctor?”

“Hello, Steve. I am Doctor Jonas. I met you when the paramedics brought you into the emergency room two days ago. How much do you remember?”

“Well, the first thing, Doc, is that I am not married and I have no children. Who is this woman?”

She began crying, not holding anything back.

“Steve, it is not uncommon for someone who has been through the trauma that you have to not remember important information.” Lisa stopped sobbing, but was still visibly shaken. “Mrs. Smith, give him a day or two to fully recover his memories. Obviously, his wounds will take longer. Think of this time as a chance to get reacquainted. Maybe even fall in love all over again.”

The doctor’s words assuaged Lisa’s fears as she looked at me with the tender eyes a wife should have. But I am not buying this story. I am not married and I do not have children.

I waited for the doctor to leave the room before I told Lisa. I expected another round of tears.

She gave me something different.

“Listen up you little shit. Yesterday, you could be anyone you wanted. Today, you are my husband and the father of my two children. You were in a car crash. The driver of that car has more money than God and two girlfriends his wife does not know about. He wants to settle for 15 million ONLY if this remains quiet. As to who I am, I am the paramedic who pulled your sorry ass out the car and saved it for a big payday. We are going to be rich if and only if we put the threat of a lawsuit to this bastard as a united married couple. The children are mine and their deadbeat father looks like you. His name is Steve. If you want half of this money, shut the Hell up, play your part and let me do what I do best.”

The doctor returned a few minutes later. I managed to reach for Lisa’s hand. She managed to give me a small kiss. The child waved at the two of us. The defendant’s lawyer arrived with a series of papers to sign.

I could think of worse reasons to be married with children.