Today is the day (Trigger warning: suicide)

Today, what seems like a hundred years ago, I lost my life

and started a new one.

I was close to ending it all.

I was looking for a gun.

I was looking for a way out of the hell hole I was in.

I wanted to kill, and not just me.

I wanted to hurt everybody who had brought me to this place.

I felt hopeful, fighting might be worth it.

I wanted to get out.

I didn't get out,

not for a long time.

But that one night, I chose not to harm.

This is the anniversary of that night.

That problem still continues.

It makes every day worse than the last,

but I still remember that night.

A night I regret.

The night I decided to survive.

I wish I didn't regret that night, but I'm stuck reliving the horror inside.