Tunes to Drown You Out By

Today, I drove home with the radio all the way up, and the windows all the way down.

And this time when you crossed my mind, I could not hear you screaming at me.

I saw your mouth moving, telling me I was no good for you, but all I heard was the heavy, heavy metal of Metallica thrashing away to “Sad But True,” an apt description of our poor excuse for a relationship.

Back home, you keep telling me our union was the “biggest mistake” you ever made. But guess what – on the freeway all I could hear was Shaboozey belting out “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” amid the thunder of traffic and broken exhausts. Oh, and car horns from mad motorists telling me to turn it down.

Then a Stones oldie came on, and I cranked up the volume and my miles-per-hour even higher. And trust me, honey, I’d much rather listen to Mick screaming “Honky Tonk Woman” than you hollering at me.

Drat, then I heard a siren through the tunes and saw a cop in the rear view mirror. That was OK by me, because if somebody is going to tell me shape up, I’d rather it be him than you.

Later that afternoon, I drove to our house and you were waiting for me at the door. You held a checkbook and asked, “How much this time?”