Peanut Butter and Jealousy: 1 Lunchables 13, 1-16

"For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14).

"Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth." (Clark Gesner, You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown)

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have peanut butter, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have jelly, I am nothing.

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not trade my lunch, I gain nothing.

4 God is love, but love is jelly. God is omnipotent, but peanut butter is all-sticking.

5 Love is sticky, and it sticks to the roof of your mouth and remains long past the digestion of the jelly.

6 Protein and sugars are the nutrition of love.

7 Love does not delight in tartness but rejoices with the pasty reminders hours later from your teeth. It always sticks, always sweetens, always comes in brown paper bags, and always perseveres as fair barter at lunchtime.

8 Love never fails. But the prophecies they will cease; where the tongues smack and cannot be unstuck; where there is knowledge good and evil, and these are PBJ and broccoli, respectively. Verily, vegetables will pass away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10 but when the alchemy of peanuts and grapes come together, the separateness of them disappears.

11 When I was a child, I ate like a child, I tasted like a child, I digested like a child. When I became a man, I couldn't put the ways of childhood behind me.

12 Yet, now we must watch our waistlines. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: proteins, fats, and starches. But the greatest of these is the love for the sticky and the sweet.

14 And fear not! For there is Jardiance.

15 And the Lord saw that it was good.

16 Like peanut butter and jealousy.