Cogito

in my left ventricle

I built up a little

alter...

Ergo,

it said in Latin

upon it

love will lie here

for slaughter

It will be sacrificed

and if not forgiven

all will surely be forgotten

I will keep it

in this cage

Beating

and it will

serve me

right,

in Sum...

And escaping

wax winged lit

in hopeful prayer

the likeness of god

will tumble

To its chamber, back

where I think I am

its keeper

and it, the

worshiper

2024 SEP 08

"For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14).

"Some psychiatrists say that people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely...I guess they're right. And when you're really lonely, the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth." (Clark Gesner, You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown)

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have peanut butter, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have jelly, I am nothing.

3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not trade my lunch, I gain nothing.

4 God is love, but love is jelly. God is omnipotent, but peanut butter is all-sticking.

5 Love is sticky, and it sticks to the roof of your mouth and remains long past the digestion of the jelly.

6 Protein and sugars are the nutrition of love.

7 Love does not delight in tartness but rejoices with the pasty reminders hours later from your teeth. It always sticks, always sweetens, always comes in brown paper bags, and always perseveres as fair barter at lunchtime.

8 Love never fails. But the prophecies they will cease; where the tongues smack and cannot be unstuck; where there is knowledge good and evil, and these are PBJ and broccoli, respectively. Verily, vegetables will pass away.

9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10 but when the alchemy of peanuts and grapes come together, the separateness of them disappears.

11 When I was a child, I ate like a child, I tasted like a child, I digested like a child. When I became a man, I couldn't put the ways of childhood behind me.

12 Yet, now we must watch our waistlines. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: proteins, fats, and starches. But the greatest of these is the love for the sticky and the sweet.

14 And fear not! For there is Jardiance.

15 And the Lord saw that it was good.

16 Like peanut butter and jealousy.

Love's visage is a most sacred and sagacious sound

Inspired by false credence in the tender night,

Unconsecrated devotions rise all around,

Enveloping faith surmounts then flails midst starlight

Pious, nonsacred streams of moonlight beams

Caress sweetly unsuspecting sanguine dreams

Woven with a guise of sanctimonious means.

Love is all around;

permeates our atmosphere

without disturbing

the currents.

Like a holy spirit,

An element of the Dao,

Or the winds of Karma

Love is all around.

How we choose

To interact with Kindess

Is the ultimate

Ponderance.

From Dogen to Rumi,

Our answers fall short.

Yet there is beauty in

How we choose.

Maybe one day,

The gods will

Speak directly to

Our brothers and sisters.

Love will find us,

Choose us,

And tell us:

"Maybe one day."

Let today be that day.

Because love is all around us

And we have a choice

In divine interaction

I thought about commitment

or to whom I shalt hold my self

accountable. Breath held, solid,

in, for a count of ten, and then

a letting go. Of anger, my anchor;

weight, the devil behind me. Speaks

in sign language. I read clouds and

tea leaves. Signals that have found

me, a right moment of suspension

and if sin is forgiven, already, then

Lucifer is still an angel. And I also

am always in the process of failing.

i stand, at the ready

my heart is heavy

i cannot even...

think straight

head to the skies

there's tears in Your eyes

and I cannot resist...

looking away

i stand; You sob

i am appalled

how can i be this...

this numb

i used you, i know

and so i will go

i'll do what you need...

so i'll leave

"NO!"

no, You cry quickly

why does this hit me

it feels like such a...

mistake

i cheated, i lied

and still you reply

all i do and still i'm your...

universe?

"i'm still human" i say

but you don't go away

you come closer and closer...

i run

it doesn't feel right

to be such a light

if You think i'm the sun...

Your eyes are broken

Creature of the night

Son of darkness, born of blood

I've built a pagan temple

In my heart, just for you

And I don't care what they think

Black leather baddie

Blood drainer, won't you be my Daddy?

They all say

I'll end up burning in Hell

For worshipping you, the way that I do

But I don't care

I know it's wrong but I can't resist

Bruising my knees, just for you

Your hands in my hair

Back against the stone of a crypt

I look up at you, unholy killer

Without you

I don't know what I'd do

And I know that's it wrong

But I'm in love with you

Love

The simplest of emotions but hardest of them all

I could love you and not care

Right?

Or I could care for you but not love you

Sounds better

I tuck my emotions deep in my mind wanting to be free

Not caring at all

Because love as I thought has showed me only despair

But what happens when a stranger rids my love struck heart of it’s chains

I didn’t ask for it

I wanted to be alone

I wanted to be free

But with him near, I can’t

I want to bare my demons to him

But I’m afraid

Afraid that he might toss me out without sparing me a glance

Afraid that he wouldn’t hold me And tell me my demons don’t matter

It’s not about me though

What if I toss him out when he shows me his demons?

I bet they’re as beautiful as he is

And I can’t risk my emotions

My feelings

I can’t risk my morals

But with him, it’s like my morals cease to exist

Love I may not know

But men, I do know

And I haven’t had my full

Until him

My whole world revolves around him

My downfall

My anchor

My religion

Putting me in obsession

Unhealthy

Making me,

A fallible god

Aaaamen, I says...

Amen, amen, again!

Aaymen, need more

here be said...?

but that we are

gathered here

today...

Aye, men ...?

09.09.2024

"To fall in love is to create a religion... that has a fallible god."

challenge @dctezcan

Your calm betrayal

leaves rivers of crimson tears

streaming down my cheeks.

Your rabid fury

clears trails of searing anguish

that blaze through my heart.

It started with me

creating a false idol

in your likeliness.

Perpetuated

by your homily preaching

of a twisted grace.

I shouldn’t have knelt

to worship at your alter

of fallible love.