Time’s Up

Today, I have spent a lot of time thinking about which Gorean position I was going to do for you today. I wanted to show you how much I appreciated last night. All those orgasms, one after another, spending myself for you. I feel that I should challenge myself in a way that might be pleasing to you. So, as I finish the housework, I knew that the time to make a decision had come.

I go to my bedroom and strip off all of my clothes. My nipples go instantly erect with the cold of the air. Standing there naked, I grabbed my phone and set a five minute timer. This was it. I took a deep breath. Once the timer was set, I placed myself in the inspection pose. My hands on top of my head, my eyes forward and my pelvis tilted up, my legs splayed wide. I chose this pose as it is the one that is most difficult for me. It is total exposure. Everything is there for everyone to see. I am putting on display the thing that I most dislike about myself - though not as much as I used to, you’ve taught me that.

Within 20 seconds, I am already looking at the timer, wishing my time was up. Not even close. I feel so completely vulnerable, so defenceless. I try to keep my eyes open, but I find it nearly impossible. I try lowering my gaze, but that only makes it worse as then I can see myself. I glance across at the timer but my screen has gone into sleep mode. I could come out of the pose to check the timer, then I would know how much longer I needed to endure this, but I realise that part of the challenge for myself was to stay in the inspection pose. I would just have to wait it out. Time crawls past.

I open my eyes again. I realise that I have started to close in on myself. My pelvis was thrust back and my shoulders had started to round inward. ‘No! Do it right!’I tell myself. I raise my eyes, push back my shoulders and push forward my hips. Full accessibility. I push myself forward so you’ll be able to see everything, touch everything. With that in mind, I widened my stance. Nowhere to hide.

Time passes. I start to twitch. Why is this taking so damned long? I don’t like it. I hate it! Being so exposed, showing myself for anyone to see, it makes me so anxious. And yet, there is a wetness building.

I start to play out in my mind a scene where you have me standing like this with all your friends about. Each one is allowed to come and touch me, play with me, inspect me, tease me. If I’m good, you say that you might even let some of them fuck me and use me at the end of the night. I shake my head. No! You shouldn’t be imagining a scene. You should be remembering who and what you are, not losing yourself in a fantasy.

I take a few deep breaths and make sure I’m fully on display. I am yours. Your toy to do and play with as you will. This body is not mine, but yours. If you choose for it to be displayed, then that is what I will do. If you wish to leave me like that, then that is what I shall do. If you want me to accept who and what I am and the package that it has come in, then I must do that. I start thinking that maybe my service is beautiful and in that service, maybe I am beautiful. I force myself still. I calm my mind. I make sure all is available, that I am ready for whatever lies ahead.

Then the timer goes.