Lucubrations, pt. 1

Do you know how it feels to lose faith in ya conscience, to lose all discernment, voice on empty — senses eggin' you on to toss out the pen like it ain’t ya greater purpose? Like are you really worth it? Or just another purchase in earnest? One splurge away from church bells, tenors and altos, sermons surround the curtains? That's just for instance, not for certain, as time flies, comprehensively surmount burden, the allurance of learnin, star crossed hearts cross, reserved thoughts apprehend, whistlin leaves in the current, avert the breeze, diverge from all the chaos, the converging currents, strewn memories click in the absence of light, even the fireflies know the future's nervous; emcees extort for fortune, stolen phonetics and syllabic hearses, brittled in disingenuine, hands and feet need plea love peace and refurbish, no rites (rights) of passage in service, abort a child to bury the childish mistakes in emergence, then settle down with a clown because he turned the bed to a performance: remember the curtains? - chain aquatic, built like an urchin, corals clappin in the chorus- bezel weigh bout half a burkin, out here lookin like a tourist- sellin tidepods out the v - powder lined up on the b - rollin' down the window, earthy breeze - gain in his pocket blue like sheets of detergent - blunt fatter than a roll of bounty - they'd get so high they'd do their savior a disservice, no more askin for favors i see a bridge and i burn it, timmy turner - imagine if i wished for the burner, wit a mind sporadic and chaotic like souls trapped in an urn, so when shit get paranormal I pick and choose like waitcha turn.

I find confidentiality and reality mix to paint a perfectly purple picture— blue hues of an outcast turn red, mud in the mist, blood in the mellow rivers, and if you paid less attention to the pit and more to the precipice, you’d leap off the edge, collateral of gunshots and broken mirrors,

Redemption verbs repetition been living that sentence in reverse, I fear that this shit ain’t rehearsed, its repentance, way I murder, they gone have to go and give me a greater sentence, the way that I flow in these ripostes I guess it’s just a penchant, propensity for poetry, that's not to mention, ensemble diggin' solace (soulless) graves no matter if you sister or brethren, sometimes I can't say if i'm supposed to leave an imprint, sprawl out to new beginnings, but even before I could walk I knew I never born irreverent.

You think I imagined I’d be here  years later— in a jail cell, lost without recognition? I’d say it was a figment of igneous, unbridled rage and sadness been the pigment,

all they could find was blues and Cs in my imprint.

Still kept the carbon in the coat, bringin it up to height’ll have him recycling breaths in an instant, oxy and gin wit tonic hoes, we poppin moscato like some misfits, curiosity like Mike - one swig of the punch’ll get you hit quick,

I skip intermissions-

If his brussel sprout, bullets peel off the skin like it’s an artichoke - grabbed his attention,

Gave him a reason to listen in, like, "cmere and lemme teach you a lesson:

When shit get hectic watch where you steppin'

Ain’t a 6 you can mess wit",

Passion in my eclectics get toxic & septic, and this mind of mine’s a mine, could go & blow up any second, that senseless selfless shit a benefactor, get caught hook line and sinker if you factor out conclusions, 's why I'm resolution prone - been seen the slope like it was impossible to miss it, but we live in the ruins of a world of hubris, them x(ex) and ys(whys), remind 'em all the time of the life they been choosin, like ain't it about time we stop hangin' our lives by the noose, and is it right to grab the scythe from death and hack away till he’s oozin?

Few years later, born a new man, far from a nuisance, julius ceasar clause, I’ll ball till I fall again

Autumn my leaves, they match the leather

Polar bear with the timberlands,

Restitute constituents, amicably symbolic of the hard times we been cursed in livin in

Stars on the porsche (porch) collide on any day or date,

Could be the presidential or the Michelin.