6/18/24

So let me start by saying I’m still alive. Obviously, right? Or I wouldn’t be writing this. I mean I guess I could be a ghost hiding in the aether of cyberspace. But I’m not.

The stab wounds were superficial. So though they hurt, they didn’t affect me long term in any way. No organ damage or anything like that. I lost some blood but the drive to the hospital was just fifteen minutes so it wasn’t too bad. I knew it wasn’t bad because I’d ran to my car. I don’t think I’d have been able to do that if the stab wounds were serious.

Anyway, they said not to do any heavy lifting and no vigorous activity for two weeks, so I’m taking one more week off from my superhero gig. Or hobby. Or whatever the fuck it is. Hobby? What sort of fucked up mother fucker am I, anyway?

So I did do some preparation, though. I found a Kevlar body suit on online for 2500 bucks, and since I’m getting a bonus in July, I figured I could splurge a bit, so I bought it and had it sent to Amy’s. Needless to say, she wasn’t particularly happy about it.

“What the fuck, dude?” was her initial reaction. “You got stabbed three times and now, instead of deciding enough is enough, you spent 2500 dollars on a Kevlar body suit you’re getting sent to my house? You do realize you have four kids, right?”

“Of course,” I said. “They’re always first and foremost in my mind. That’s why I want to try to make this city safe for them.”

“Yeah,” she said, shaking her head. “Sure. Look, Mike. You are a single dad with four kids. Plus you have a full time job. Plus you have an elderly mom you help take care of. Plus you do poetry workshops and want to start an open mic and you’re in how many bands?”

“Three now,” I said.

Amy shook her head. “Three bands. You’re nuts.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”

“You know. But you aren’t gonna change anything, are you?”

I shrugged. “Just tell me it’s okay for me to send it here.” I paused. “And I’ll fix your futon.”

She shook her head. “Whatever. I must be the world’s biggest enabler. And I don’t even know what your addiction is anymore. You’ve gotten over alcohol and pills and sex. What are you addicted to being a superhero now? I bet that would be an interesting twelve step program.”

I smiled and gave her a hug. “Thanks so much.”

But that wasn’t the only new development in the past week. This one’s sort of a cute story, actually.

So I’m putting the kids to sleep Saturday night, and everyone’s in bed except the youngest, my five year old, and he comes into the room and says “Daddy I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes.” I did. “Now make a wish.”

I thought to myself, gee, I haven’t been on a date in years. Not a real one, anyway. I just want to go on a date. “Okay,” I said.

“Now open your eyes! When you wake up tomorrow, your wish will have come true.”

And he went to sleep and I didn’t think anything of it other than he was just being a cute kid.

So about a half hour later, I get this message on Facebook. Do you remember when I mentioned Michelle, who comes to my writing workshop from the mountains out west? Like an hour or so away? Probably not. Why would you? I just mentioned her in passing. Anyway, I get this message from her asking if I want to go out Thursday night. She wants to get to know me better. I say yes, of course, and I go to sleep, not thinking anything of it.

The next morning, my five year old comes in and wakes me up. “Good morning Daddy. Did your dream come true?”

My jaw dropped. “Yes. Actually it did.”

“Look under your pillow, Daddy.” So I look and there’s a plastic lion toy and a plastic squirrel toy under it. Surely there must be some symbolism or a weird metaphor there, but it’s lost one me.