7/5/24

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. I’ve been in the new house for a year now though the kids have only been living here with me on weekends for a few months. Before that I was at the Pikesville house on weekends with their mom and them. And before that I was in that house with her, sleeping on the couch while she got the bed, even though I was paying for everything. I couldn’t stand sleeping in a bed with her so I had to move to the couch. Anyway. Baby steps. At least I see her as little as possible now.

And there’s the Mary Jane thing. I still can’t get over her even though things seem to be going well with Michelle. Baby steps. I started researching smoke bombs for my super hero escapades for when I need to make quick escapes. Baby steps.

So I’ve been considering real hard whether I should scrap this journal now that I’m internet famous, since I don’t want anyone somehow tracking me to here, figuring out who I really am, finding out where I live, and putting my kids at risk, but since hardly anyone actually reads this, I figure I’m okay. (And real life me is definitely okay since I only beat up the guys in the first chapter - unless they somehow find this. And I’m not really internet famous in real life since I’m not really a costumed super hero, even though the rest of this is mostly true. Jesus, can I get any more meta?) Anyway, long story short, this journal is staying, at least for now.

Monday night was my writing workshop. Afterwards, I went prowling up Harford Road in the Parkville and Hamilton area, looking for this guy who was all over the neighborhood app sticking people up. Didn’t sound like anyone had tried to fight back yet. This guy was about to be in for a big surprise. The app said he came up behind people who were walking alone at night, so armored up, I snuck through the shadows behind walls and next to buildings, through alleys and behind trees, looking for someone walking alone at night.

There was one guy I tailed for a while who saw me hiding behind a trash can and made a run for it. I thought about catching up to him and explaining to him I was trying to make sure he was safe from anyone else sneaking up on him, but coming from a guy in all black body armor with a red duct tape cross on his chest, I didn’t think that would go over so well.

Eventually I did see an elderly lady walking alone and a guy fitting the description, tall white guy with a green bandana, came up behind her with a gun. I leapt over the wall I was hiding behind and kicked the gun out of the guy’s hand. I was pretty fucking proud of that move, by the way. The guy tried to run. I waved to the confused, scared old lady and took off after him.

I caught up fast and tackled the guy. “No don’t kill me!” he shouted, flinching as I sat on top of him.

“I’m not gonna kill you,” I said as I punched him repeatedly in the face. “I’m just gonna beat the shit out of you. I mean, that’s pretty depraved trying to rob a poor little old lady.”

“No!” he shouted as I beat his face bloody. I’m pretty sure he was crying at that point. Now I just felt bad, which made me even more angry, so I punched him in the face a few more times for good measure.

I pointed at his bloody face and broken teeth. “This is my neighborhood. My city. I ever see you robbing people or doing anything else detrimental to the health or wellbeing of the good citizens of this town, and I’ll knock the rest of your teeth out and you’ll spend the rest of your life with bad dentures. Got it?”

He nodded, teary eyed and bloody faced.

Now on the Fourth, I met Michelle for dinner at a bar and we went to Federal Hill to watch the fireworks. It was crowded as hell and the fireworks display was shorter than usual because there was also a drone show we could barely see because it was angled the wrong way for most of the show, and by the end we were just trying to navigate Baltimore public transportation, tired as hell, but we were together and we enjoyed each other’s company.

And then at the end, when she drove me back to my car, I saw her put some gum in her mouth before she started driving, which put a smile on my face. I knew where this was going.

When we stopped, I went in for the kiss and we made out for a bit. She smiled at me with her pretty blue eyes. She was a tall, thin, pretty blonde with blue eyes. Not my usual type but she was pretty enough I didn’t care. “To be continued,” she said with a wink.

We said good night and I drove home. Not a bad week.