The Problems of Witches

One of my hobbies is astral projection, meditating, magic and the like. But, recently I haven't been able to do this because I've been losing track of reality, again. This started during a time of forced isolation. It was part of my training in magic but... well... it went on longer than it should've and I started going insane. I hear voices and see things. They um, are sometimes real and at other times figments of my imagination. I test them. I ask them things I don't know the answer to. Sometimes they get flustered and begin arguing with me. At other times they answet with a question. And still more often, I convince myself that my mind could come up with that answer on its own. It probably can too. The mind has power.

I have thought about giving up all together, but I've had so many experiences which brought me back from the edge and I know forcing my brain to think without arguing with itself is pretty useless, so I don't. I just sort of wait until I have a time where I can't sense things at the edges of the subconscious. I wait until I know the earth is holding me firm. Even so, I get lost. I loose track of time. I loose track of sleep. I mix dreams and reality. I mix characters in books with Gods, demons and the people I see in front of me. I am supposed to be a witch. I am supposed to have fun near Halloween. All that happened this year with the parting of the veil was me having to delegate more energy to keeping up my mental barriers. I can't have random spirits contacting me in the middle of school, it's just not practical. So here I am, a magician, set to graduate top of their class who can't tell if they imagined every piece of magic they've ever done.